How long does it take a broken heart to be put back together? How long will it take for to stop crying about it every night? How long until I feel like myself again instead of this sad and pathetic thing that I’ve become?
Not being able to fall asleep because your brain can’t shut up about grandma’s cancer and the guy that broke your heart the next day and all of the projects piling up at work or the fact that you’re afraid that when you do fall asleep that you’ll dream about him like you have every night since he left and have to feel that hurt all over again?
I don’t fall in love often. And I’ve never felt anything like this. It physically feels like someone is sitting on my chest all day. Every day I’m fighting off the tears until I lay down at night and I can’t fight them anymore. Sobbing and screaming into my pillow so that I don’t wake grandma while she’s fighting this cancer.
I’m a selfish human being that can’t move past her own pain to support her family like she should right now. I’ve always been the strong one, but I’ve never felt as weak, useless and pathetic as I do right now. How do I put my emotional bullshit aside so that I can focus getting my life back? None of my friends want to deal with sad and depressed me. That’s become pretty clear.
— Stacey Jean Speer (via m0re-adventurous)